i don't know what is wrong with me.i kept crying for no reason.or worst i wasn't intend to slash hand it was so near that when my phone rang,it just slash through.abit deep.sorry.somewhere somehow i got this feeling i'm going to lose someone special.i kept thinking about this who is that someone special?during religious class we had counselling session and i shared about me and that someone special.i get to let off some of the burden i've been keeping.if i have 4 more hours in the religious class,i will share the whole thing but Heaven is not on my side,you see.i reached home from my religious class at 4.30pm.wait! did i tell you that i saw Sairi when i was about to board the lrt to my religious class.damn it! i didn't get the chance to chat with him for awhile as i'm late for my religious lesson already.i just wave and said hi and bye!pathetic me.

i reached home and quickly bathe and get back to my room and those tears just came out easily without notices.i was sick and keep coughing blood and sometimes it get worst till my nose bleeds.why is God punishing me this way?isn't it more better you take my life than just making me suffer.it's hard for me to keep coughing blood and sometimes nose bleeding when it only starts by just a normal flu.blame me for not taking medicine as soon i found myself sick.i'm getting weaker and weaker.i don't have the energy to even walk to my kitchen.maybe in school,some people saw my face pale like some ghost.it was that day i was angry with some of my classmates and crying in pain.i think i'm not going to school tomorrow but i have to as i don't want to miss maths lesson and science lesson.important! i will study hard for my n level till i drop dead.this god damn shit flu,coughing blood and nose bleeding may just blocked my way to study but i can overcome,maybe?GOD!help me will you.

maybe you don't understand me anymore,ex.
i don't love you anymore.i had enough.
you can fool other girls but not me.
i know you are trying to get me back
but now i know your character,i won't dare myself to accept you back.
i know you trying to change but i'm scared to be hurt again.
i know you don't love me then but now i don't love you.
i know it's hard to forget me like how i had a hard time forgetting you last time.
i really want you back then but now not anymore.
i locked my heart back and let it bleeds till there's really someone who can mend it.
i can't give my broken heart to you again and let it bleed more.
this could be hard for you
this could be hard for me too.
i'm letting you go now..
please don't beg me,it hurts me more.
i'm seeking for your understanding.
i'm begging you now to forget me.
you want to see me happy?
let me go and give me freedom and i'll be happy.
i still love you only as a close friend.please?